“So, what do you do for work?”

Cannot count how many times I've been asked, "So, what do you do for work?"

It's not my favorite question to ask, and wasn't my favorite question to be asked when I was in a comfy job that didn't define me or light me up.

Plus, I'm old enough to know it's sometimes asked to get at what people really want to know—and most would never dare ask:

“How much money do you make?” More money = more esteem.

“How financially secure are you (or do you pretend to be)?” More secure = more esteem.‍

“How socially successful are you?” More successful = more esteem.

When I tell people I'm a writer, it delights me to know that some people wonder HOW ON EARTH I pay my bills. Sometimes I do, too ;)

Several years ago, a trio of Greek college students outside a Polish salt mine asked, in broken English and with absolutely no guile, "Are you a famous author?" That I was an author had come up in conversation as they wondered how I was able to travel for so long.

With a straight face, I responded, "Very." After enjoying their shocked responses for several seconds, I fessed up: "Not yet." We shared a great laugh about it and became pals for the rest of the day.

The main problem with the "What do/did you do for work?" question is that it usually doesn't open a very interesting conversation.

Much more interesting questions to ask someone you're getting to know:

• "What do you find most interesting about your work?"
• "Do you like what you do?"
• "Do you have a craft? What is it?"
• "What's the most interesting thing you've read this year?"
• Or, my personal favorite because of the fascinating conversations it's opened up: "What do you like talking about?"

These get at the actual person you're talking with, not the temporary work title that describes very little about who they are.

Try it, and let me know what you think.

‍

Isn't it cool to be human and alive right now? See you in the next one...